Time To Rant

It's been a while since I felt the need to rant.

It's been a while since I had something to rant about.

But this isn't something that I can just keep inside of me. Because I'm frustrated at the very fact that vermin like her still exist in this world. Although I'm not surprised. My only concern is that why does she have to spread her poison around? Can't she take her toxic and just lock herself away alone so that she'll never have to hurt anyone else again?

She's a complete sadist. She takes pleasure in seeing other people hurt.

But then again, I don't know her. Months dating her, yet I know nothing about her. She's nothing but trouble, and maybe the reason Itou's been getting from bad to worse is because she is her influence.

I have no reason to lie here. No reason to hold back.

Nobody will read these words.

Nobody will know how badly I've been damaged.

For the longest time, I've taken anime as a huge influence. The characters I watch come to life are the people I really, really hoped to meet one day. That fascination got me obsessed on Japan. It made me believe everyone there was as perfect, and as surreal as these characters. Being the blind and naive person I am, I continued with that belief even until now.

So every time I take a direct hit to the heart, I tell myself, "Block it out."

I picture myself, in the future, as this lonely anime girl with a great outwards appearance, but inside she's absolutely broken. And then this girl comes into her life, and changes everything.

But who am I kidding? Life doesn't always have to work like that, right?

To be frank with you, I probably have to thank Yosu for what she did to me. Although it crushed me, it also helped me. It made me realize- people like her are at the bottom. They're wishing for something more, craving for attention, for love, for some support to a crummy life. I'm like that too though. I want attention, I want love. But despite all that, I'm still a human being. And human beings don't use other human beings for their own selfish reasons. Not the sane ones anyways.

At the end of the day, I can continue to walk on smiling.

And she'll be left in the gutter. Wondering what the hell happened.

Maybe it won't happen. The world is unfair like that. But for every bad action, there will be a bad reaction. It's called Karma. Watch out, Yosu. It's coming for you.

I'm not the only one who's felt this way.

This year started out great. But it's starting to get rocky. Three months in, and already Yosu's involved in my life again, Teikida confessed and I don't know what to feel about it, and Sachi's relationship with Daiko is constantly making me feel... used.

Why can't, for once, I just meet someone who I can be my complete self with? And at the same time, have something normal. No drama, no annoying ex's, no weirdness. Just... normal.

Where is my Yarai? Where is my Yuzu?

Rant over.

Two more months to go.