Influenced

I get influenced easily. Particularly by movies. I recently just watched a war movie called Lone Survivor.

I honestly think I'd die if I were a marine. Pitiful creature I am.

I might not mind having to stay for another 7 months. I have to admit, I'm gonna really miss my friends. My friends, who are sometimes too overbearing, too overwhelming, too cruel, too sarcastic, too lame, too idiotic, my friends who I love. I wish there was a way I could get the best of both worlds.

But it's easy to lose contact when you're so far away.

I know that firsthand. I know that all too well.

I have to push my physical self, to be better than I already am, to be the girl I saw in my dreams. To be that girl. Who can take on dragons and ninjas and assassins. I wish they were real, just so I could be one. Or a mercenary. Whatever works. As long as I get cool daggers, and epic war music in the background. Imagine that. Fighting some red bandits in slow motion with an epic soundtrack playing as I slash off their heads and shoot at between their eyes.

I think I play too much games.

Ironically, I've been neglecting my Xbox. Now the only game I play at a constant time is Sims. And I just do that to make babies and name them.

My self-named Sim was married to Apple. And we had a daughter and a son, named Nightly and Alistair accordingly. It's just what I want for my future. But it's also only in a game. It's all in my head. A fairytale that'll never come true. It's the reason I made it come true on the computer. Virtually it exists, in my head, in the depths of my dark and twisted heart.

Also apparently I crave attention but I'm shy.

It might be true. But I'm only shy when I have attention.

Strange. Strange indeed.